SUMMARY OF EDITS FOR CHAPTERS NINE & TEN

Apart from a small amount of rewriting to show character reactions in more detail, Chapter Nine required only minor editing. However, a comment my editor made about the MC disobeying orders provided a catalyst for me to make changes elsewhere. This comment was highlighted again in the editorial report and made a very valid point. In my first draft, the MC was just a little too nice and as the story progressed this became a hindrance. In my rewrites I have shown the MC being rebellious from the start. This aspect of her character is one which helps to define her as a person and makes her actions later on more believable. 

  

Chapter Ten is where the editing stopped and some serious rewriting began. In summary, this is what I did to improve it.

In the original version, the MC witnesses the Watch leave the village to try and catch one of the mysterious intruders. The following morning, she learns that they’d had an encounter and several people were hurt. She pays a visit to a friend who relates the tale. In the rewritten version, she insists on taking part. As a result, she and the reader experience these events at first hand. I was then able to cut out the second scene. However, it wasn’t wasted.

In the second part of the chapter another important character tries to persuade the MC to run away with him. She refuses and he doesn’t return home. She then goes off to seek help to find him. Because he’s an outsider no one wants to help. The MC then has a drink and a chat with another character about a forthcoming event which will alter both their lives. In the rewritten version the scene where the MC is asked to run away remains. However, the outsider doesn’t disappear at this point, but returns home. As a result, I was able to cut the scene where the MC goes looking for him and her subsequent chat. In the rewritten version I combined the best elements of the scenes I’d cut into a new scene. This appears between the scene with the intruders and the one where she is asked to run away. The next chapter provides a much better point in the story for the outsider to disappear.

When I compare my original draft with the latest version, I can see that I had some good material. The problem was that it wasn’t presented in the right way and didn’t exploit its potential. Whilst the latest draft might not be the final one, it stands head and shoulders over the previous.